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Jokes
Sept 19, 2003 23:12:28 GMT -5
Post by Mr. Hendrickson™ on Sept 19, 2003 23:12:28 GMT -5
Post jokes here. If this goes well I will make a Joke Section
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Jokes
Sept 19, 2003 23:13:17 GMT -5
Post by Mr. Hendrickson™ on Sept 19, 2003 23:13:17 GMT -5
The rescue team finds the crashed airplane. The lone survivor is chewing on a bone, with a huge pile of human bones next to him, and the rescuers are shocked. He says, "You can't judge me for this. I had to survive." The leader of the rescue team says, "But Jesus Christ, man... your plane only went down yesterday."
A little boy gets up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. As he passes his parent's bedroom he peeks in through the keyhole. He watches for a moment, then continues on down the hallway, saying to himself, "Boy, and she gets mad at me for sucking my thumb"
Doctor: "Your wife either has Alzheimer's or AIDS." Husband: "How can we find out which?" Doctor: "I need you to run a little experiment this weekend. Take your wife to a park and leave her there. If she finds her way home; don't fuck her."
LONGEST TURD The longest dump ever verified was produced by an American, who produced a 'staggering turd' over a period of 2 hr 12 mins which was officially measured at 12 ft 2in. The offender is banned from 134 washrooms in his state.
MOST SEMEN SWALLOWED Michelle Monahan had 1.7 pints of semen pumped out of her stomach in Los Angeles in July 1991.
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Jokes
Sept 21, 2003 17:52:39 GMT -5
Post by Pixie on Sept 21, 2003 17:52:39 GMT -5
A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and his mother told him to pray to God for it. He prayed and prayed for weeks, but nothing turned up. He decided to write a letter to God requesting the $100.00.
When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to "God," they opened it and decided to send it to the President. The President was so impressed, touched and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a check for $5.00; he thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 and sat down to write a thank you letter to God, which was as follows:
Dear God,
Thank you very much for sending me the money. I noticed that you had to send it through Washington, D.C. As usual, those jerks deducted $95.00.
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Jokes
Sept 22, 2003 18:46:25 GMT -5
Post by Pixie on Sept 22, 2003 18:46:25 GMT -5
A woman walked into a lawyer's office and said "I heard that people have sued tobacco companies for causing lung cancer and they have sued McDonald's for making them fat."
"Yes, that is true." say's the lawyer.
"O.K., I want to sue also."
"O.K.", The lawyer say's. "Which one?"
The woman replies " Budweiser, For all the ugly people I have slept with!"
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